I never really took sunscreen seriously. I was never the type to get freckles or start peeling off in three minutes. So the greasy goo wasn’t such an appealing summer necessity. The crispy fried chicken golden tan was the status of my desire and I just wanted to achieve what my friends were able to.
So one summer, I decided to dedicate half an hour each day to bake in the sun. I put on my swimsuit, applied no sunscreen whatsoever, and thought that I was ready to get that golden glow by the end of the month.
30 minutes in the merciless sun at 2PM was probably not the best idea ever. My legs took the first hit and they felt like they were literally getting sizzled. My legs could empathize with the worms burning and shriveling into little stringets in the sun.
I ended up tapping out after one week. The heat was too much to handle, and my body felt like it was sizzling. I also didn’t really enjoy the part where my vision turned green and cloudy after sun exposure and how some parts of my skin actually did end up getting sunburnt.
Did I ever achieve that crispy fried chicken tan I was going for? Nope.
I had this lovely gray-hue coloring that went away in the next few weeks of indoor life.